Not-so-secret way to make a bad taco....
Ugh, where to begin....
From the outside, it definitely had its humble exterior, which can often indicate an "up and coming" taco place. However, it was badly deteriorated from years of weathering damage, so it didn't strike me immediately that they're investing in appeal. This could imply that they survive without the need to advertise or focus on their superficial appeal. With that in mind, I actually entered with high hopes and expectations.
Atypical to my reviewing method, I was only able to review three meats instead of four, and that was accomplished by placing two separate orders. I was not allowed to order more than two types of meat with any taco order, due to the chef (???). Seems that complicated orders confuse him, and they want to try to avoid complications. Fair enough, they are a very small restaurant and quite busy, so they probably want to crank out orders as quickly as possible. What beheld me next though, egh...I'll do my best to describe and maintain fairness.
Meat
While there were a variety of meats available, due to my limitations I was stuck with choosing three so I went with asada, al pastor and carnitas. Oddly enough, I can review all three at the same time, because if not for the names and origin, they were pretty identical.
Although they're different types of meat, they fall under the same descriptions. Absence of any flavor whatsoever. All were readily apparent at being very low quality as I found myself poking out lumps of fat (not bits, lumps) with every bite. The asada had nothing to it. It was slapped on the grill and then stuffed into the tortilla. The al pastor was very reminiscent of that from King Taco, except greasier and with even less flavor. Heavy on the onion, it was about half and half in my order, which was a slight saving grace, but for the lack of quality in the meat, it wont make up for it. The carnitas were very similar to my earlier impression of the birria at 'El Parian' -- I felt like I was eating meat for the sake of eating meat. Sure it was fried properly, but lacking flavor, any hints of marinade, and being low quality just made it not worth eating.
Tortilla
Toppings
"After-effects"
Score: 4/10, simply because they tried...
Tortilla
Tasted like it was heated in oil (which is a good method), and then microwaved later because they were initially warmed up early in the morning, and then re-heated as needed. Store-bought and of low quality. Basically they're saying "we could care less about quality" by serving these discs.
Score: 3/10, especially since I saw fresh tortillas in the back which are used for enchiladas there as well; why not use those?....
Toppings
Adequate, if not original. Onion/cilantro, lemons, and green sauce which was actually pretty good. It was a DIY job though, with the topping cart in the back. I can appreciate the topping cart on a certain level, however, because it allows you to prepare your taco as you wish. At least they had that going for them.
Score: 7/10, for being nothing special, but at least they were sufficient...
"After-effects"
Ugh. I hated myself afterward. If I knew how I would have felt after eating the food, I would not have attempted it. I only ordered three tacos in all, and didn't finish my plate. Stopped a few bites short. Saw no point in finishing.
Score: 4/10
Bottom line, for the fact that I don't even care to put up pictures of the tacos, I couldn't recommend a place any less than this one. Nothing redeeming, nothing special. Average prices, hurried service, lack of parking, seating for about 10 people total, and rigidity of the ordering structure are all of its downfalls. It almost makes me want to create a general "establishment" criteria to point out where some restaurants shine, and where others falter in customer service, appearance, and attempts to create repeat business. I would love to have that criteria available to me right now so that I could give this place an emphatic zero. I don't think this place could care less. They're simply going through the motions and ringing up the register, which for whatever reason, kept ringing the whole time I was there. what draws people here so much, I'll never understand...
Bonus Points: (+1) For having a huge cooler filled with Jarritos and other Mexican drinks...so they had Jarritos; at least my drink was tasty!
Price: $1.10 / taco, $1.29 for drink
Wait time: 5-10 minutes
Distance (from downtown): 20-25 minutes outside of rush hour
Total Score: 19/40
What I would order next time: The #9 at Del Taco, which is closer to me, tastier, and possibly even better for my innards...
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